I feel my blog lacks the soul it once had. Probably from trying too hard to blog and saying the right words all the time.

So now, I'm going to stop; blog with my heart again instead of my mind.

Sometimes, you just feel betrayed about the trust you give a person. Sure, perhaps when one feel its family, they feel that they should share it around. But when you specifically mention not to bring it out, you can't help feeling betrayed, even if it seems childish and petty. You feel angered and at times taken aback and although it's not really tragic, these emotions still run wild within you. And you feel as though you can't trust the person again.

Isn't it a hard subject?

There are times when you feel you can't argue your case, when all your words dry up and you are just talking nonsense. You ramble but you have no idea what the hell you're talking about because everything just seems unimportant. And at times you feel hollow, like there's an empty gap that can't be filled even when you talk about it. You practically well- gaggle.

Sometimes the only way you can escape everything is when you build a fantasy in your mind. A place where you write your own stories that are up for imagining. For me, I'm too lazy to write, so I just picture them in my head imagining sketchy faces and smooth dialogue. These stories are always cropped up in my head, but when it all comes down to grammar, vocabulary and punctuation, I just struggle because they're such a hassle to write. And it's this feeling of incompetency that puts me away from writing.

After all, I do enjoy pleasant writing, and hates it when there are grammatical errors all around. Who is to say one won't enjoy it? I guess it's a slow build up and I'm reading around to improve my writing. And despite setbacks around, hopefully I will be able to write a story over 10 000 words one day.